The purpose of this site is to share one of the most unpleasant experiences ever created and empower you to have extreme fun at the expense of many others. Continue reading at your own peril because it is possible you will end up feeling rather disgusted. On the other hand, if you have a somewhat twisted sense of humour ...like us for instance, it is highly probable that you are going to have fun here. And, who knows, perhaps you might be tempted to begin making a list of people you would like to see suffer?
Try to imagine the scene ...
You have been invited to a cheese and wine party. You are completely calm, relaxed, and chatting with a few friends, when all of a sudden, an enormous hairy spider makes an appearance on one of the walls, right next to you. Total panic ensues! There are women screaming, running left and right. Even a few men begin to lose their cool. Very few people want to stay in that room!
It's absolutely sure that if you wanted chaos to strike at a party, a large spider would do the trick handsomely! However, there are at least 3 challenges with this idea:
1. Carrying a whopping great arachnid with you isn't exactly the simplest of tasks.
2. Not everyone is afraid of spiders.
3. Sooner or later, some dickhead will arrive and massacre your eight-legged companion.
Whatever, this is a solution which will only work in certain circumstances and in spite of it being very amusing, it certainly isn't practical. In fact, what you need is something that can wreak absolute havoc, which can be easily carried around in your pocket and, if possible, be completely invisible so that nobody can remove it.
A classic prankster's dream, similar to a stink bomb but infinitely more efficient. Once released, this highly concentrated liquid will begin to evaporate filling the air with the disgusting smell of a fresh dog turd, or maybe someone who had overdosed on sauerkraut!
There is no limit to the nonsense you can get up to once armed with a bottle of LiquidASS. Watching people screw up their faces and listening to the comments they make about the awful smell will have you rolling on the floor gagging with laughter. Quite frankly, this is one of the funniest stink products on the market today! Despite its outrageous potency, the odour is non-toxic and will eventually disappear.
Why more expensive than our other products? Click HERE and let's talk about farts!
This is THE horror of horrors! Who hasn't encountered a pavement pizza with its foul stench at some time in their life? This distinctive signature emanating from a primary disorder of the gastro-intestinal tract has been remarkably reproduced and bottled for your pleasure. Now, anyone looking to stir trouble or exact revenge can have the most awesome of pocket-sized weapons at their disposition.
The formulas of LiquidASS and BARFume are commercial secrets… but we promise you they will not harm anyone, other than being an intense source of annoyance!
Of course, pranks such as these are not without consequence. It is therefore very much in your interest to remain out of view or be in sufficient physical condition to be able to outrun your victim!
"J'ai la chiasse!" is a widely used French expression that means "I've got the runs!" There are no prizes for guessing what this product stinks of, save to say that word play has been used when naming this almost identical version of LiquidASS. It isn't 100% identical for the simple reason that although we know what ingredients were used in the original, we do not know their precise percentages. Nevertheless, recognising the difference won't be easy.
Do our farts always smell the same? Of course not! Depending on what we have eaten, the effect they have on others will likely be the same so, if you want to permeate the air with the stench of diarrhea, LaChiASS is ready to serve!
Continuing with word play, the French word "corporelle" means "bodily" and as this odor replicates extreme bodily perspiration, CorporHELL would seem well adapted.
Let's be clear, we have extracted the essence of 4 of the worst smelling French cheeses to come up with an aroma resembling the stench often associated with athlete's foot or a very bad case of B.O. Make no mistake, anyone exposed to this product is going to heave. It really is that evil!
Unlike our other products, CorporHELL is best used directly on your victim's clothing to give the impression that he urgently needs a shower. You can also spray it in a fridge if you want those using it to believe that something must be well past its 'sell by' date.
Imagine a frog taking a bath in a saucepan while the flames below heat the water. At first, he adjusts to the warmth but eventually he will be forced to jump out or be boiled alive. If your goal is not an instant reaction of horror and disgust, and you want to make your victim suffer slowly, KwiZZine is a fun method for achieving that.
It provides an overbearing smell of rotten garlic. The amusing thing about garlic is that one can stand the smell at first but, after continued exposure, it becomes intensely annoying. So much so that you can feel the anger welling-up by the minute. And, if the victim attempts to use an air-freshener, the effect will be multiplied!
Pigs are not known for their cleanliness and yet the expression "happier than a pig in shit" is used to define a state of pure joy. Apparently, it comes from the fact that a pig seems happiest when wallowing in his own faeces. Very strange!
Merdique stinks of pig excrement and we guarantee it will NOT leave anyone in a state of joy. It is an obnoxious smell that illicits a reaction of disgust. Unlike LiquidASS and its odor of dog turds, most people have never been exposed to the odor of pig shit which helps to add a healthy dose of confusion when searching for the source.
LiquidASS and LaChiASS are seriously upsetting but the worst is yet to come...
Do you have a dog at home, or maybe you have a friend who has one? Can you imagine how someone would react if he were to find a dog turd on the carpet, complete with its awful smell? Or better still, on the bed!! These turds have been hand made and no two are alike. It is practically impossible to tell them apart from the real thing, unlike the plastic or silicone versions found in joke shops. With one of these revolting objects liberally sprayed with either LiquidASS or LaChiASS you might even hear the screams from your neighbouring village.
Click on the image to the left to view a photo of a genuine example. No matter where you leave one of these, all hell will break loose!!!
This plastic syringe will give you the opportunity to exploit the portability of our products. Now, you can slide your choice of poison under a door, through a keyhole, in fact absolutely anywhere you can insert the flexible tube supplied. That means you can empty a room without actually having to enter it in person. That includes offices, hotel bedrooms and cabins aboard ships or trains.
Are you being annoyed by noisy neighbors?
Is your sister spending too much time in the bathroom?
Now you know exactly how to deal with it!
Note 1: The Invader is merely an accessory and is supplied alone. To use it, you must have one of our revolting smelling products. The Invader syringe can hold the entire contents of a 30 ml bottle. It comes with a silicone tube but no needle.
Note 2: Plastic syringes are built with medical usage in mind, which is why they are considered disposable and for one-time use only. Because you will not be using it to inject anything into a body, you can use it over and over again.
Note 3: A version we call 'Sniper' is also available. This is simply the Invader syringe and 5 popsicle bags for performing the ice trick detailed in the LiquidASS Masterclass (entry by subscription only).
Note 4: Watch out for video surveillance cameras!
After receiving plenty of feedback from users of our products, we came to the conclusion that many people who purchased one or more bottles rapidly ran out of ideas for what to do with them in order to achieve the best results. More often than not, the product would only be used in their own home which may not be the best method for guaranteeing you end up peeing yourself with laughter.
Because we have been using these products ourselves, we have amassed a fair amount of rather creative ideas which we would love to share with you. Some people consider these gags to be a little over the top which is why we prefer not to publish them on our web site.
That's why we compiled them into a list with detailed instructions on how to perform each prank. But be warned, think carefully before letting anyone else know what you are up to because you never know when they may give the game away...