LiquidASS - Wreaking havoc can be so much FUN!
The purpose of this site is to share one of the most unpleasant experiences ever created and empower you to have extreme fun at the expense of many others. Continue reading at your own peril because it is possible you will end up feeling rather disgusted. On the other hand, if you have a somewhat twisted sense of humour ...like us for instance, it is highly probable that you are going to have fun here. And, who knows, perhaps you might be tempted to begin making a list of people you would like to see suffer?
Try to imagine the scene ...
You have been invited to a cheese and wine party. You are completely calm, relaxed, and chatting with a few friends, when all of a sudden, an enormous hairy spider makes an appearance on one of the walls, right next to you. Total panic ensues! There are women screaming, running left and right. Even a few men begin to lose their cool. Very few people want to stay in that room!
It's absolutely sure that if you wanted chaos to strike at a party, a large spider would do the trick handsomely! However there are at least 3 problems with this idea:
1. Carrying a whopping great arachnid with you isn't exactly the simplest of tasks.
2. Not everyone is afraid of spiders.
3. Sooner or later, some dickhead will arrive and massacre your eight-legged companion.
Whatever, this is a solution which will only work in certain circumstances and in spite of it being very amusing, it certainly isn't practical. In fact, what you need is something that can wreak absolute havoc, which can be easily carried around in your pocket and, if possible, be completely invisible so that nobody can remove it.
It's an American invention discovered totally by accident. A classic prankster's dream, similar to a stink bomb but 1000 times more efficient. Once released, this highly concentrated liquid will begin to evaporate filling the air with the disgusting smell of fresh diarrhea, as if someone had overdosed on sauerkraut!
There is no limit to the nonsense you can get up to once armed with a bottle of LiquidASS. Watching people screw up their faces and listening to the comments they make about the awful smell will have you rolling on the floor gagging with laughter. Quite frankly, this is the unchallenged king of disgusting smelling products available on the market today. Nothing comes remotely close!
This is THE horror of horrors! Who hasn't encountered a pavement pizza with its foul stench at some time in their life? This distinctive signature emanating from a primary disorder of the gastro-intestinal tract has been remarkably reproduced and bottled for your pleasure. Now, anyone looking to stir trouble or exact revenge can have the most awesome of pocket-sized weapons at their disposition.
The formulas of LiquidASS and BARFume are commercial secrets… but we promise you they will not harm anyone, other than being an intense source of annoyance!
Of course, pranks such as these are not without consequence. It is therefore very much in your interest to remain out of view or be in sufficient physical condition to be able to outrun your victim!
Imagine a frog taking a bath in a saucepan while the flames below heat the water. At first, he adjusts to the warmth but eventually he will be forced to jump out or be boiled alive. If your goal is not an instant reaction of horror and disgust, and you want to make your victim suffer slowly, KwiZZine is a fun method for achieving that.
It gives the impression of a meal that went wrong and has an overbearing smell of rotten garlic. The amusing thing about garlic is that one can stand the smell at first but, after continued exposure, it becomes intensely annoying. So much so that you can feel the anger welling-up by the minute. And, if the victim attempts to use an air-freshener spray, the effect will be even stronger!
Pigs are not known for their cleanliness and yet the expression "happier than a pig in shit" is used to define a state of pure joy. Apparently, it comes from the fact that a pig seems happiest when wallowing in his own faeces. Very strange!
Merdique stinks of pig excrement and we guarantee it will NOT leave anyone in a state of joy. It is an obnoxious smell that illicits a reaction of disgust. Unlike LiquidASS and its odor of dog turds, most people have never been exposed to the odor of pig shit which helps to add a healthy dose of confusion when searching for the source.
The stink of LiquidASS is seriously upsetting but the worst is yet to come...
Do you have a dog at home, or maybe you have a friend who has one? Can you imagine how someone would react if he were to find a dog turd on the carpet, complete with its awful smell? Or better still, on the bed!! These turds have been hand made and, being the work of a craftsman, each one is unique. It is practically impossible to tell them apart from the real thing, unlike the plastic or silicone versions found in joke shops. With one of these revolting objects liberally sprayed with LiquidASS you may be able to hear the screams from your neighbouring village.
Click on the image to the left to view a photo of a genuine example. No matter where you leave one of these, all hell will break loose!!!
This plastic syringe will give you the opportunity to exploit the portability of our products. Now, you can slide your choice of poison under a door, through a keyhole, in fact absolutely anywhere you can insert the flexible tube supplied. That means you can empty a room without actually having to enter it in person. That includes offices, hotel bedrooms and cabins aboard ships or trains.
Are you being annoyed by noisy neighbors?
Is your sister spending too much time in the bathroom?
Now you know exactly how to deal with it!
Note 1: The Invader is merely an accessory and is supplied alone. To use it, you must have one of our revolting smelling products. The Invader syringe can hold the entire contents of a 30 ml bottle. It comes with a silicone tube but no needle.
Note 2: Plastic syringes are built with medical usage in mind, which is why they are considered disposable and for one-time use only. Because you will not be using it to inject anything into a body, you can use it over and over again.
Note 3: A version we call 'Sniper' is also available. This is simply the Invader syringe and 5 popsicle bags for performing the ice trick explained in the LiquidASS Masterclass (entry by subscription only).
Note 4: Watch out for video surveillance cameras!
After receiving plenty of feedback from users of our products, we came to the conclusion that many people who purchased one or more bottles rapidly ran out of ideas for what to do with them in order to achieve the best results. More often than not, the product would only be used in their own home which may not be the best method for guaranteeing you end up peeing yourself with laughter.
Because we have been using these products ourselves, we have amassed a fair amount of rather creative ideas which we would love to share with you. Some people consider these gags to be a little over the top which is why we prefer not to publish them on our web site.
That's why we compiled them into a list with detailed instructions on how to perform each prank. But be warned, think carefully before letting anyone else know what you are up to because you never know when they may give the game away...