Let's talk about farts! - LiquidASS France
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When we started this company we called it LiquidASS France because we only sold LiquidASS and BARFume. In 2019, we added KwiZZine and Merdique to the range however, these were products we created whereas we imported LiquidASS and BARFume from the United States. Thanks to the videos that LiquidASS users in the USA have posted to YouTube, LiquidASS has always been our most popular product. If people were uploading videos of their exploits with LaChiASS or Merdique, we are certain they would become equally as popular, and as I love talking shit, allow me to explain why.
Despite their different odors, all three are sold as Fart Pranks. Yes, we say that LiquidASS resembles dog shit and LaChiASS stinks of diarrhea, while Merdique reminds us of pig's excrement but the reality is they are not physical stools, they are just odors. In this respect, we can categorize them as farts.
All these products are excellent. Some say that Merdique is too strong and that LiquidASS is perhaps somewhat more socially acceptable but a person's sense of smell is subjective. For example, have you noticed how you have little problem subjecting yourself to the smell of your own farts? Can you say the same for everyone close to you at the time you break wind? I have to say the REAL reason why LiquidASS is the most popular is due to the amount of publicity it has enjoyed, and of course, if its sales far outweigh those of LaChiASS and Merdique, then the amount of customer testimonials it receives will be significantly greater too.
At the time of writing, LaChiASS has only just been launched so we are not yet in a position to compare its popularity with the others. Experience to date has shown that many of our LiquidASS customers who purchased Merdique have returned to order it again, and again, and again. Would they do that if it didn't live up to their expectations?
Am I trying to say Merdique is better than LiquidASS?
NOT AT ALL! They are both Fart Pranks with different odors. What I am trying to convey is that the farts of all living beings will change according to what has passed through their intestinal tract, or as dieticians like to say "We are what we eat." If we consume meat, fruit, vegetables, or dairy products, they will ferment in our intestines thereby producing a variety of gases which, once expelled via the anus, tend to be rather unpleasant to our sense of smell. It matters not that they don't smell identical because when others breathe them in, the resulting emotion will invariably be disgust and that, dear friends, is the goal of our products ... to reproduce that WTF moment leading to uncontrollable laughter!
I have a question for those customers who believe LiquidASS is a socially acceptable prank. Please tell me what is socially acceptable about the stench of a fart that resembles a dog turd, regardless of where you spray it?
FACT: provided the odor genuinely smells like something that came from your sphincter, it will NEVER be socially acceptable!
It is with regret that we have to inform you that our current stocks of LiquidASS and BARFume are coming from another retailer which explains the higher price. In November 2019, we attempted to place a new order with the Americans. They never replied. A second attempt was made but still no response. Finally, we wrote asking what the problem was and how we could resolve it? This again resulted in total silence. And that is why we had to either search for another supplier, or discontinue offering them permanently.
That said, the manufacturer of our other products worked with us to create a new product similar to LiquidASS. LaChiASS is equally as good even though its odor may not be 100% identical. However, as already covered, the goal of a great fart prank is to disgust its victims and, as our farts are never the same, it doesn't matter if there's a slight difference in the smell. All that matters is that the product is non-toxic, stinks really bad, and lasts as long as LiquidASS. That's a formula we knew we could achieve.
If you are a new potential customer who has seen the LiquidASS videos on YouTube or on our site, we promise you that buying LaChiASS instead of LiquidASS will be like buying a BMW instead of a Mercedes. Both are really good and guarantee a positive experience. You might ask "Is LiquidASS worth the extra money?" The best answer to that is to try them both so you can come to your own conclusion.
Q. Why was no mention made of KwiZZine or CorporHELL in the above article?
A. The stenches of both are truly obnoxious but they are not fart pranks.
Q. Is Merdique really stronger than LiquidASS?
A. Our sense of smell is subjective. For one person Merdique may seem stronger. For another, it may not be. As a plant-based formula, its strength comes from the type of plants used allied to the fermentation process.
Q. In 2021 you launched 2 new products. Do you plan to launch more?
A. In fact, we launched 3 new products however the 3rd one is only available inside our Masterclass and it is the strongest product we have ever created! Another one is currently under development...